Cupcakes – give them a rest already

So we know that “trends” don’t really mean the same thing in DC as they do in the rest of the world (they arrive later, they linger longer) but the cupcake things is officially out of control here. Not only did Georgetown Cupcake expand (of course..) but there are at least 10 “Cupcakeries” around town, not including across-the-river. In fact, just last year, the Washington Post even ran a “cupcake wars” feature, with different taste tests pitting the ‘cakeries against each other. Why are they even popular, aside from the fact they’re cute? Do boys/men purchase lots of them, because I only ever saw college girls and WASPY over-peroxided SAHMs buying them at Gtown Cupcake (although, er, I guess that goes without saying). But seriously – they’re not healthy, they don’t make you lose weight or look skinny eating them, you can’t drink them or eat them for lunch every day, they are super overpriced for what they are…when will it end?

I guess you know a trend has officially reached saturation when the bets on what will go in new retail locations in gentrifying parts of town are “dog accessory shop” or “cupcakery”. For once, can’t DC be on-trend and kill off the cupcakes, already? It already reached saturation/pop-culture joke status in New York more than 5 years ago for chrissakes. Some people blame the lame faux-feminista shlocky “i love nyceeeeeeee” fans of sex and the city for the original mass hysteria in NYC over cupcakes (and now, i believe, featured on the ultimate in hellish experiences, a s.a.t.c. bus tour…..), although i fail to see how this alone could have started the trend.  it fits in so well with all that other over-the-top cutesy girly interior-decoratey (not designy) crap like the now ubiquitous baby announcements in shades of brown and blue with little bubbles or stylized daisies, or the big fucking hair flowers/brooches or drinks with cute names and a little whipped cream on top. just look at a “cupcakery” – it doesn’t get a lot more lace doily – pink dots – ribbon – glass – twee than that.  i mean, i love cupcakes and sweets as much as the next person, but i can’t see how a “cupcakery” (we’ll define that as: something that only sells cupcakes, not a regular bakery) is going to survive after a couple years when the trend dies out. or maybe it never will? in dc?

So why did I bring this all up? Well, i read this on DCIST today…overheard in DC, always hilarious. Unfortunately, the post led me to some information on this blog-with-what-i’m-going-to-hopefully-assume-is-an-ironic-bio that Georgetown Cupcake is creating a (sorry i have to use this term…) “reality” show.  In other news, if there were a cupcake in front of me right now, I would totally eat it (especially if it had cream cheese frosting). But in the interest of sustainable retail and mixed use development, I’d rather make them at home and have a “real” bakery open up down the street instead, maybe one that attracts both genders.

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